Hello, you goons! Why are you here I don't know, but it is now my job to entertain you. I am not exactly the best at this, so I am just kinda SHOVING everything into a bunch of MUSH here on the first page, cause I'm a lazy weirdo :D!

So basically, this will be my blog and crap, and if I figure out how to add damn images, my art will also be on here! (hopefully I learn how to do this damn crap sooner or later T-T)

If you know how to make better htmls, please send me tips at swampzysli.mebee@gmail.com! I would be very grateful!

-Feb 20, 2025-

This is my first entry on my site! Woo-hoo! I am not very good at this, but hopefully I get better. What should I write about..? How about my favorite music and tunes! Yeah that sounds alright. I mainly listen to a ton of indie and punk crap. My favorite punk bands are probably The Gobs, Ghoulies, and Skull Cult. I also love tons of other crap, like MookieLaka and Jack Stauber. I wouldn't be able to live without my music. I dont know what I would do. Probably go mad. More than I already am. Wait, I'll link my last.fm so ye can see my music and crap. I like all sorts of music. The only music that I don't really like is country music and pop. I don't know just not my thing. My music inspires a lot in me. I'm going to be a musicain someday. I guess you could say I already am, but not really. I am learning a few songs right now, I wonder if I can post them here when I'm able to play them well... maybe. HOLY CRAP.. I almost forgot to mention my favorite band EVER. The one, The only, GORILLAZ. I fucking LOVE the Gorillaz. The lore, the art, the music. I also may be a little Murdoc crazy as well >:). They are THE BEST. I have been obsessed with them for like a year and a half now. I wish I wasn't born in 2010, becasue then I could've been around when they first came out. I was born in the wrong generation. I wish I was born in the 90s or 2000s. I also really like the 60s. I don't know, I'm just weird. Okay, I think that's good for a first entry. Yippee!! I'm excited to keep writing here. Stay swaggy, MarsheSlime

-March 11th, 2025-

Chaos

My skull is like a styrofoam cooler from the dollar tree, It works pretty well but breaks too easily, Especially when you have all this shit in it. I'm an artist I swear, but I really kinda hate it. I swear to god I'm holding on, but there's no god that I'm worthy of swearing to, and the only thing I'm holding onto is the melting snow from twelve years ago. Because there's so much chaos built up in my mind that I can't get out. I'm scared of the future, I'm not scared of people but the simple fact that they exist as millions of separate individuals horrifies me. Time is infinite but we are not. No one can ever truly kill things they can't hold to begin with. I'm scared. It feels like my chest has cotton in it, not because I'm overwhelmed, I just can't breathe, I can't think yet I can't stop thinking. I want to give everyone the world but the only thing I can afford is a quarter. I cant see out of my eyes if you don't see me. How can anyone remember my face if I don't even recognize myself? I wish I didn't think, I'm not thinking at all, it's not me it's all of these little things that no one else hears, and I can't explain. I'm thinking six things at once, always running on any other mode than default. Shit. My feet are heavy, my knees ache. My stomach feels like it's full of lemonade, my lungs feel like cotton. I think my ribs are made of rubber, and my skin feels like it's moving. My head doesn't hurt, just scream like something broke, gaslighting me into believing that my arms are broken, bent and snapped in eight separate directions. There is so much change I want to make yet I struggle to wake up in the morning, I sit in this little world I have made in my mind, a perfect little world that hurts to tear myself apart from. What is reality? What do I look like in your mind? Am I a conscious interpretation or just a little purple blinking light? I'm scared I'll be forgotten. If you're not remembered, did you really ever exist at all? You know someone was there, someone filled that place but if you don't know their face were they a person or just a role in a situation? I want to hold something, but every time I try I just end up crushing it. I can't hold onto reality because I'll destroy it. Do you understand, why? Don't tell me I'm insane. I'm afraid.

-May 6th, 2025-

I am freaking bored. In the depths of the gulag currently (aka highschool math class ugh) My website looks like shit. I need to figure out how the fuck to make it actually in any sort of way good. I have no clue how to do this fucking math work. send help i may or may not need an ambulence. I wish whatever god of websites out there would desend from the fucking heavens and help me with this shit. School is over in 30 days. I am excited but horrified because I am failing like three classes. My sister just started school. In fact, I just got my sister. Her name is Jadeah we recently adopted her. She is 16. I was adopted last march on saint pattys days. I got a big sign and everything. My casa worker also got me irl stonks that I have no idea what to do with. I dont understand why they are useful, to me it just seems kinda dumb. I also turned 15. yayyyyyyy (not really). I do not want to be old and crinkly. that would not be very apealing to me. My mum got me the FREAKBAiT book for my birthday in march. :) Im real happy about that. Im about halfway thru its really good so far. alr i should prob focus on my shitty shitty math work. good by fellow friends and feinds.

The Ramblings of a Madman

My jaw runs like a rabid animal, scrambling to make sense of a static mess I call my mind. Lips twisting into an uncontrollable smile, sweet but twisted with pure adoration laced with envy. Eyes focused, pupils dilating as if I am an animal stalking its prey. In a constant state of anticipation, waiting and preparing for a moment that isn’t even gone but never meant in the first place. Sweet, sweet painful nothing, beautiful fantasies and assumptions of the warmth of hands that were never there. Holding on to something that never was, grabbing and tearing at the air, needing to destroy something nonexistent, needing to destroy to feel closure for something that was never opened. This obsession, this love driven rage I can’t explain makes me want to drown something that never breathed, pluck the feathers off a bird that never flew, bring death to something that was never animate.

-May 9th, 2025-

I am currently in my discovery class, like a weird preview to the CTE's next year for kids that aren't sure what they want to take. I already know though. I will be taking the film making CTE, I will be making tons of things but I personally want to focus on animation. I have been trying to practice, but do to the fact my phone was banished to the gulag, I am not able to use IBISxPaint (aka the free phone app that I animate with cause I am a broke loser.) I have been making flip books though. The FREAKBAiT book also demanded I make a zine, so I think I may do that as well. Talking about the FREAKBAiT book, I thought it might be cool to talk about my favorite pages and such. When I first got it I just kinda skimmed thru, looked at various photos and drawings. A few notable pages that were my favorite were the one with edgar (from electric dreams go watch it on youtube its fire), crystal-meth yoga page that made my mum chuckle (shes a yoga teacher for context), and the optical illusion butt plug. After a few weeks of it being lost to the void I call my art-desk, I rediscovered it when my mother sent me to go cave diving into the avalache of doodles, clay, and broken pencils. (yes i know i spelt that wrong i could truly give less of a shit.) Then I started actually reading it. Its been very good, my favorite pages so far have been the one about "the war on poverty" and why the miltary is a commerical shitshow, "the people in the big old house" which I believe was about forms of self destruction, and the "course of the crisis" which reminded me of my birth father. I also got quite the laugh out of the "fucking with eavesdroppers" page. For more context I would suggest buying the book, it's defintly worth it. here's the link if you wanna check it out: FREAKBAiT book

Oh yes also, believe it or not here's a personal achivement of mine I feel is worth documenting. I got a boyfriend. Yes my loser ass managed to pull a human being WITHOUT stalking them this time believe it or not. so that's fantastic. Hi anthony if your reading this!

-May 12th, 2025-

DR. EGAN ISN'T HERE TODAY LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I have humanities later send help. My head has felt like SHIT for the past two days. My jaw, my eyes it fucking sucks. I slept most of the day yeasterday. The only times I got up was to make my mum her mother's day thingy (it was an owl made of water melon), go to yoga which i didn't even do most of the yoga, I just laid down i felt so dizzy, and to clean the bathroom. I also played some video games. My phone is still banished to the gulag, so I haven't been able to access the interwebs and talk to some of my online friends. Hope your doing good adien! alr, ima do some work now.

-May 13th, 2025-

Sorry abt TAJ1009 he's one of my friends online and irl lmao. He has been trying to say rancid shit in my guestbook. He's cool he has all of his OCs I help him with his ocs. His art is getting really good too. My mum also messaged my guest book. Love you mum Ɛ> my mum is awesome. also, thank you frank for going in the guestbook! GORILLAZ FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

-May 15th, 2025-

Okay soooooo i broke up with anthony. Sorry anthony. I don't know I just guess I didn't like him that much. There's so other people I like. they don't like me and all that personal jibberjabber. shit i have to go do fucking IREADY. kill me please

OOGA FUCKING BOOGA GUESS WHAT (1:49 pm)

so last night i was having my daily crisis, scrolling thru the depths and wonders of my youtube for you page. and i saw something FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. Doctor Nowhere my pookie, one of my favorite artists up there in the ranks with FREAKBAiT and Jack Stauber, FINNALLY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL GODS RELEASED HIS NEW VIDEO WITH LOCUST IN IT AND HOLY SHIT IT WAS STUNNING.(silas orion my soul belongs to you. you are a offical swag lord eos.) I nearly busted at the sight of the notification. I watched that content the need to watch it was simply engraved into my brain nostrils because I have been waiting for so long, ceasing and screaming into the void about how hyped I was. AND IT WAS SO FIREEEEEE. I dont even have to explain it. Go watch it yourself.

May 20th

Violent J being outed as a pedo was not on my 2025 bingo card 💔 LIKE COME ON MAN WE CANT HAVE ANYTHING NICE T-T. Part of me doesn't know what to believe, I'm just gonna wait this shit out. Like please tell me this is a joke or some shit PLEASE J COME ON THIS CAN'T BE TRUE.

May 22nd

I GOT MY FIRST ART COMMISION LIKE EVER!!!!!!!!! This is lit. Thank you broksi. Techinally he didn't reach out to me but did at the same time. He's my friend (TAJ1009) and asked me to draw one of his ocs... doing intresting things (ill explain later) so i, well- forced him to pay me 5 dollars. :) now im drawing a eggplant human hybrid (aka geonaut so he calls it) eating human flesh. (help this is really weird) 5 dollars is 5 dollars tho. I got cheetos with it mwahahahaha. anyways yeah, bye bye >=)

Okay I have a little thingy i needa talk about and this is the only place I trust talking abt it. So there is this boy. His name is Demetrius. I am borderline obsessed with him. He is nice to me, he is funny, he is sweet, and everything on top. he is just perfect, inside and out. He has light brown, straight hair, down to his shoulders that turns in at the end. He always wears the same outfit I swear to god, with a company logo on it for something called msgs. He has light blue eyes, with dark blue rims, they are thinner as well. His eyebrows arent thick, nor are they thin. he has this little smile and stupid laugh and every time I see him I cannot help but grin. He is just so kind. He notices little things about me and remembers that. when I tell him things, he actually cares and listens to what I am saying. We have been friends for quite a few months now. His sense of humor is the best part. He has these silly little expressions for everything, and its halarious. He makes the perfect jokes at just the right time and it never fails to crack me up. He makes my day. I want him to know that. I want him to know how much he means to me. I can't tell if I am lonely, obsessed, have a crush, or I don't even know. But god dear neptune, he is glorious. Not only is he all of those things, but he is smart as well. He is very intuitive. Some of my other friends tell me that he isn't good at reading other people, but that is a lie. He is the only one that notices when something bothers me or when I'm upset. when i'm enthusastic about something he is back. I think he knows that I like him. I hope he knows. He makes video games and is a decently popular youtuber. DCGreecy I believe, go follow him and check out his game Deep In The Machine (a bendy fangame on roblox) He deserves it. he is an amazing human. I remember one time, I kept trying to say something at the table and everyone kept cutting me off. So I just stopped trying to talk about it, but he looked at me and said something along the lines of "you didn't finish," and then let me talk to him about it. My heart warmed on the spot. I can't tell if he is just being a caring friend or actually likes me. a bad habit I have is falling in love with anyone who shows a geniune sense of care for me whatsoever. But he is like heaven on earth. and he deserves to know that, he deserves to know how important he is to me. he is amazing.

-May 28th, 2025-

I wonder if Demetrius likes me the way I like him. There have been a lot of people telling me to go for it. I don't think I can though. I don't want to ruin another friendship again. This fucking sucks man. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should go for it? Just wing it. You only live once. But I dont want to scare him away. I don't know what to do. He is so stunning.